Leave no Stone Unturned
by Lizard-chan
Summary: Hisagi left Kira because he was obligated to be a father to Rangiku's baby. Now that the baby is here... Is it really his?
1. Chapter 1

I don't know xD

I wrote this, randomly having a burst of inspiration around three weeks ago. I was procrastinating on writing a paper for English due to next day….spent like 4-6 hours on this and internet. Around 1 am I started the paper, and wrote about weed in it. Darn it.

Anyways, this is just a chapter of all my Bleach fics I haven't written yet c:

ooo

"Izu, I heard Rangiku had her baby less than an hour ago! We should go see her and her baby!" Momo was the most excited Kira had seen her in a while; he didn't have much of a choice in her response.

"We should," Kira smiled and wrapped his arms around Momo and kissed her. She looked beautiful with her bright dark eyes.

"What has gotten into you? Spontaneous kissing?"

"Uh, I was just thinking… I wonder - uh, never mind," Kira panicked, not wanting to seem like he was trying to move their relationship too fast.

"You'll tell me at some point if it's important. So, are you ready?"

"Yep, all ready." Kira looked into her eyes thoughtfully. "It's chilly outside," he released her and glanced out the window, "we should put our coats on." He began to walk toward the coat rack.

"You're right. Hitsu-chan said he thought it might snow," Momo said as she went to grab her coat. Kira grabbed it before she got over there and opened it for. "I can put on my own coat," she smiled and accepted Kira's offer. After her arms were in , Kira wrapped his arms around her stomach and held her tightly, not wanting to let go. She kissed his cheek.

"Momo… What do you think of having a child?"

"What?!" Kira felt her body posture stiffen with shock at the question.  
"What if we were to… y'know… have a child one day. Not now, but one day."

"I've all ways wanted to have a little one of my own, but I don't know. We're shinigami. We have jobs that require a lot of our time and if we were gone on parental duties… What would our squads do?"

"I know. Just the idea…" Kira released her and grabbed his coat. He slung it over his shoulder as he opened the door and held it open for her.

"Are you mad?"

"What? Why would I be mad? I just wanted your opinion is all."

"Oh good… The way you let go of me… It made me wonder." She smiled and walked out with him, latching onto the arm he held the door open with. "Speaking of opinions, what is yours on Rangiku having a baby?"

"Uhhh … It wasn't a planned baby… So that just about sums it up." Kira tried hiding his true opinion with that. Truthfully, hated it, and with good reason: Hisagi and him were together when that baby was created, even if they weren't public about it. They hadn't even told their closest friends about it. Which is just another thing Kira regrets now.

"But what's your opinion on it?"

"They should've planned on it," Kira was trying to answer her without raising questions.

"That's true. She had it on an inconvenient date, but it could be worse," she paused before saying, "Hitsu-chan was right. It's starting to snow. Rangiku is lucky she had it earlier rather than later otherwise a medic might've not came to help her deliver."

"Yeah, very true," Kira put his coat on, and Momo returned her grip on his arm, "she's very lucky." He meant that in more ways than one. She was lucky to have a baby safely. She was lucky to have medical attention while having this baby. But most of all, she was lucky to have Shūhei. Kira missed him more than he expected, especially since he has Momo. And that made Kira feel even guiltier.

They arrived at Rangiku's as the snow picked up from a moderate snowfall to a harsh blizzard. As the couple approached the front door, the realization hit them that the front door was cracked opened.

"Rangiku! Izuru and I are here!" Momo called out as the two stepped in and Kira closed the door. There was no answer, and Kira and Momo exchanged apprehensive glances.

"Give me your coat and find her. I'll hang them up." Momo did as Kira said quickly. She darted off toward Rangiku's bedroom, her blue cloth covered bun bobbing with every step.

It was weird to Kira, being in here. He hadn't been here since him and Hisagi were on good terms. Which was months ago. Hisagi had moved in since then, and it is apperent that there is a couple living here. Kira went in the direction Momo went, and surely enough, he heard weeping in between muffled words. On the way to her room, Kira passed the living room and the kitchen. Both were in usual order with a few things out on countertops in the kitchen, and a blanket or two and a pillow on the couch in the living room.

When he was about to enter the master bedroom, Kira picked up on Rangiku's crying voice "…and he just left without a word."

Kira entered the bedroom where Rangiku sat in her bed, holding her newborn. Momo was now next to her, listening to her friend.

"Go find him!" Momo yelled with urgency once she was aware of Kira's presence.

"Okay." Kira didn't need any explanation, as he had all ready heard enough. He put his outdoor things back on, and tried finding Hisagi's Reiatsu. But he couldn't… Hisagi didn't want to be found.

_Shūhei, what are you doing…_

Kira still had an idea of where he may be. He checked at Hisagi's office, his former home, and even Tōsen's unnamed friend's grave; Hisagi wasn't in any of those places. Kira was just on his way to Hisagi's parents' grave, when he sensed a faint Reiatsu flare up that he recognized as Hisagi's. Kira Shunpoed to the Squad 9 indoor training dojo.  
And there stood Shūhei. He wore his usual sleeveless Shihakusho and tabi and his zanpakutō was on the ground next to him. His hair was drenched with melted snow and fresh flakes stuck to it, as it did all over his body. His eyes were darker than usual and appeared as if he didn't see anything at all.

Kira approached him cautiously and called out to him, "Hisagi?"

He didn't respond so after a few seconds Kira walked up next to him perceptively, and Hisagi turned his body parallel to Kira's as he became aware of Kira's presence and he muttered something that sounded similar to, "oh, it's you."

"What are you doing out here? Hisagi, Matsumoto needs you…"

"You didn't see _it_, did you?" Hisagi spat bitterly.

"_'It'_? Do you mean _your_ baby?!" This wasn't like something Hisagi would do. Even in the worst of times, Kira knew Hisagi would have sucked up all of his problems to help someone else.

"Kira, that thing isn't mine!" Shūhei yelled and slammed both his hands on Kira's shoulders pinning him fiercely against the building.

"Why do you say that?" Kira kept his composure.

"Kira… that isn't any bit of me, nor any bit of her…" Kira felt Shūhei slumping as he dropped eye contact, his grip on Kira loosening. "That baby…" Hisagi trailed off and said something Kira couldn't understand, and Hisagi's breathing picked up speed and depth and he released Kira. "It doesn't matter…" Kira could see Hisagi breaking down, his whole body beginning to tremble all over, if not from the cold then the realizations of what he was saying. Hisagi turned away from Kira and sat on the steps, putting his face in his hands. "Kira, please leave…"

Kira didn't know what to believe. Not too long ago, Kira had resented Hisagi and all he had done, but now, he wasn't sure about anything. Kira removed his coat and draped it around Hisagi's shoulders from behind, wrapping him in it. Kira sat next to Hisagi and brushed the snow out of his former friend's drenched hair as Hisagi began sobbing violently. Kira tried to pull him over onto his shoulder, but Hisagi swatted the gesture away and kept his face buried in his own hands. Kira wasn't about to leave him outside like he was, and so he sat next to the tattooed shinigami as he sobbed. After a few minutes of this Hisagi's crying calmed down and he partly uncovered his face to at Kira from his hands. His eyes were bloodshot and raw. It seemed to Kira that Hisagi began to cry harder once he looked at Kira. Hisagi allowed himself to lean onto Kira's shoulder, and Kira held him, trying his best to comfort Hisagi as he choked and sobbed. Throughout this, Hisagi soon uncovered his face, and moved his face onto Kira's arm and shoulder, soaking it with his tears and snot. The grime getting on his sleeve didn't matter to him.

It was like Shūhei had froze and when he saw Kira, his frozen self began to crack and finally break… And Kira had no idea what to do for Hisagi… They hadn't even done as much as spoken to one another for months.

After his fit seemed to have calmed down and he was quiet, Kira said to him, "Hisagi, you need to get out of this blizzard." Kira said this after he had began to shiver himself, having the snow melt in his blond hair and over his back. Hisagi didn't reply but he stayed in the position he was in Kira's arms with his face buried on Kira's shoulder. "Shūhei?"

"I don't' care," Hisagi's head turned to the side and Kira could see his face a little bit. His eyes were irritated and deeply bloodshot.

_Well I do…_ Kira wanted to say.

"I'm taking you home." Kira knew Hisagi had moved out of his former home and was living with Rangiku, so Kira took him to his place. He doubted Hisagi would want to be with a friend of Rangiku's, and as it happened, Momo and Rangiku were close friends. Kira also knew that if Momo saw Hisagi, she would probably slap him and yell at him for leaving Rangiku, find something to blame him for, and make him feel terrible about himself. Which was basically everything Hisagi didn't need in the mental state he was in at this point. All Kira knew was that he needed to figure out what was going on with Hisagi, and calm him down.

"Ok," Hisagi said in acceptance without question.

The two walked back to Kira's home, Hisagi not really able to go faster than a gentle walk, Hisagi kept his eyes practically glued to the ground.

_This is even more unlike Hisagi than I thought… I knew he was in bad shape…but… This is almost too much for me to watch. He's so…down…defeated…_

Kira's place wasn't warm, to say the least. He led Hisagi into his bedroom, and let him sit on his futon. Kira placed Hisagi's Zanpakutō against the wall. "I'm going to draw a bath for you to try and regulate your body temperature." Kira went to the thermostat on the wall and turned it way up.

"Ki-ra- what-t about you? You-u're dr-reched and c-cold," Hisagi could hardly form words.

"I'm fine…" In comparison, Kira _was_ fine. Sure, he was pretty clammy himself, but Hisagi was dripping with melted snow. Kira didn't doubt that if Hisagi stayed out there much longer, it would have began to freeze onto his skin and clothes. "I'll be right back."

Kira was indubitably worried about Hisagi to the point where he hadn't thought about anything _but_ Hisagi. He drew the bath water a tad hotter than he normally would when taking a hot bath. Kira walked back to the bedroom when the water was ready, and told Hisagi it was ready and, "I can wash your uniform, and hang it to dry while you bathe if you want… Leave your clothes outside the door… And let me know if you need something else."

"O-ok," Hisagi said, his head and eyes angled to the ground. This was so unlike the Hisagi Kira remembered.

While Hisagi bathed, Kira went into his bedroom and changed clothes and dried himself off as best he could. After drying his hair with a towel, Kira heard the bath water had finished draining and returned to the corridor and found that the bathroom was open and the room was empty. "Hisagi?" Kira walked into the living room, and Hisagi was half-sitting on Kira's awkwardly tall stool with nothing on except a towel wrapped around his waist, his gaze on his hands which held each other. Kira saw there was bruising along Hisagi's collar bone and ribcage, numerous healing gashes on his chest and abdomen, and Kira could see the shadow of a hand around Hisagi's throat. As Kira examined a bit closer, he saw bruising and cuts along his arms too and a faint shadow of a bruise on Hisagi's jaw line. His eye sockets seems sunken and dark in contrast to his unusually pale skin. Kira was shocked at the state he was in physically.

"Kira…" Shūhei looked up for a second and continued, "I'm so sorry for everything. For all the grief I put you through… For what I'm putting you through now… I'm sorry," Hisagi had began to cry again, "I fucking _hate_ myself," tears streamed down his face. "Everyone would be a lot better off if I were dead," he said coldly.

"Stop!" Kira yelled and walked over to Hisagi who look at him in surprise with his cheeks glistening with tears. "Shūhei, what happened to you?"

"Nothing happened to me," his dark hair hung into his eyes, blocking them from Kira's view partly.  
"Look at yourself… You look as though you've been beaten."

"Nothing more than what I deserve," Hisagi dropped eye contact as he said this. Kira wanted to slap him for thinking like this. It was truly ironic that not too long ago, Kira had been in a similar state of mind, thinking that he was worthless and deserved the abuse he suffered.

"No one deserves this," Kira wiped the tears for Hisagi's face and sort of kneeled down so he was looking into Hisagi's lowered eyes. "Shūhei, I need to know what _she_ has done to you? You used to have a sense of pride in yourself but… Now you hardly will make eye contact." Kira slowly raised himself back to standing, "you're so submissive, and that's not you…"

"…" Hisagi bit his lip and looked at Kira for a second.

"Shūhei, I want to help you… But I need to know what happened in order to do anything."

"Kira I-." He let out a sigh signaling that he had given up resisting, "can I sleep first? I promise I'll tell you everything…tomorrow," tomorrow was a rare occasion that no shinigami had to report in the office and do work.

"Okay, Shūhei," Kira backed off and gave Hisagi his space.

"Can I ask you something else?" Hisagi looked directly into Kira's light blue eyes.

"Of course," Kira looked back into those steely dark eyes that belonged to Hisagi, but Hisagi looked back down at his hands.

"Can you sleep with me? I mean, in the same futon… So I can have someone close by… I'm afraid of being alone…" the tattooed man's voice cracked as he admitted this.

"Let me find you something to sleep in."

By this, Kira meant 'yes, but you need to have _clothes on'_.

After Hisagi was clothed, Kira awkwardly crawled in next to him. And for the first time since he had gone out after Hisagi, he thought of Momo, knowing how she wouldn't approve of this. At all.

ooo

Let me know your thoughts~

Any suggestions would be great too.  
Oh, and Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo. Not me.


	2. Chapter 2

So, I got a grasp of this story's time line and how it adds up with the manga/anime (after writing most of this. But, it's all good)! Finally!

It kinda took longer than I expected because of life. And distractions (RESIDENT EVIL 6 OMG IJADSUJASUAJUS LEON ADA CHIRS EVERYWHERE WATTT lol)

Well, hope you like it. (Also... my chapter titles are terrible...)

ooo

At some point in the night, Kira managed to fall asleep. It was so weird being so close to Hisagi again, under covers. Together, but not really _together_. Kira couldn't stop thinking about how wrong it was that they were this close. But then again, maybe it wasn't nearly as wrong as Kira had been thinking.

He knew how Momo would disapprove of the two being this close again. She didn't know the history they really had together, but Kira knew Momo didn't like Hisagi all that much. He knew about the fight they had over Aizen-Tachou and Tōsen-Tachou… At the time, Momo claimed it was Hisagi's fault the three Captains betrayed and that Tōsen was the one that was leading. He remember holding Momo the night after that happened, trying to calm her down and convince her that Hisagi wasn't at fault; if he was then all three of them had equal fault in the matter. He tried convincing her to apologize for yelling at Hisagi like that; she didn't. The loss of their Captains stung all of them. If anything Kira regretted was not being with Hisagi when it happened...¹

Throughout the night, Kira would wake an aggressive twitch of some sort from Hisagi or to the futon shaking a little, from Hisagi's trembling. Obviously, he was sleeping…but not well. Originally, the two were on total opposite sides of the two-person futon, but as it got later, both men relaxed a little bit and inched closer.

Finally, the sun cracked through Kira's windows through the curtains which only partly covered the windows. Hisagi didn't seem to be disturbed by this, but it bothered Kira. And, not only that, Kira really needed to relieve his bladder. He carefully got up, shifting his weight gradually in attempt to not wake Hisagi. On his way to his bathroom, he heard a light knocking at his front door.

_Please don't be Momo…_

He went to the door, and sure enough, it was Momo. She looked tired, strands of hair falling out of her bun and her eyes with light shadows under them. Shock passed through her eyes as she took in Kira. It was evident that she hadn't expected Kira to be at his place.

"Why… didn't you come back?" She contracted her eye lids, focusing on Kira.

"I found Hisagi."

"What the hell is he doing! He needs to be a fucking father! He needs to take on some of his goddamn responsibility."

Kira opened his mouth, wanting to defend Hisagi so badly, wanting to scream at her, wanting to correct her… but he closed it, not knowing what specific corrections needed to be made. He didn't know why he suddenly felt for Hisagi. Last night and up until now, he was pretty indifferent about him, but hearing Momo yell about him antagonistically, his genuine opinion became distinct.

"Why didn't you bring him back…" Momo looked away from him, her frustration with Kira evident.

"Hinamori, he wasn't... well... at all… And I knew you would be hostile towards him like you are now! And, honestly, he wasn't in any condition to take any of that…" Kira could hear his own compassion in his own voice, even though he was trying his best to remain neutral…

"You're _defending_ him?!" Her eyes searching for an answer.

"Yes, I am. He is my friend. He needs someone to," _because he won't take a stand for himself, even.._

"You're making it sound like he's the _victim_!He's the one abandoning _his_ child and Rangiku!" she raised her voice, nearly yelling.

"You don't know that it's _his_! You don't know what he has been going through because of _her_!" Kira hissed.

"Oh, well whose baby is it? And what has he been _going through_, exactly," she was using her skeptical voice, reminding Kira how much she didn't appreciate him right now. It stung a little.

"I don't know…" Kira turned his head, looking towards the right, using his blond messy hair to shield himself reflexively when he is faced with uncertainty in himself. "He has a lot of physical signs of abuse, and his mannerisms are a lot different than they were…he has been affected, and not in a good way. He doesn't seem to have any self-worth anymore…" _like I used to…_

"What are you talking about…"

"There's bruising on his jaw, throat, rib cage. And cuts…all over…" Kira lowered his head, feeling ashamed for ditching Hisagi while he went through this.

"If you think Rangiku would've done that, you're wrong. She isn't that type of person… She's tender and caring… And besides that, Hisagi is still leaving his child and the woman he impregnated! And I'm not allowing that to happen to my friend."

Kira caught himself looking away on impulse, and looked back into Momo's eyes, telling her decisively, "and I'm not allowing mine to be abused or used," b_ecause, even though I'm unsure of the details, I know something is wrong. And, some friendships never die…_

Hinamori looked at him, seeming to be searching for something more. Something that she wouldn't find. Kira stepped back inside his home and closed the door without allowing her to say anything more. Kira let out a sigh, realizing he and Momo were on two _very_ different sides, and that they had the potential to _end_.He walked back into his bedroom, wanting to check and make sure Hisagi didn't wake up. He crept in as quiet as possible, and kept his eyes on Hisagi. The dark-haired man in his futon had shifted, and as he suspected, that man was actually awake.

"You said you'd stay with me..." Hisagi whispered, looking in Kira's direction through dark eyelashes and bangs.

"I needed to go to the bathroom," Kira remembered promising Hisagi that the night before, helping Hisagi get to sleep after laying near one another for a half hour or so; Hisagi asked if he would stay with him... Kira promised to.

"You don't need to lie to me... You never walked into the bathroom."

"Oh-," Kira fumbled over his words, "I intended to- Hinamori was at the door. She uh- wanted to know why I didn't come back."

"I know. I heard; you two aren't exactly quiet," Hisagi actually sort of _smiled_ and Kira kept watching Hisagi, alert to any little sign. "Kira, relax... please," Hisagi cleared his throat with a little cough. "You're skittish and it's starting to make me worry," Hisagi picked up on Kira's actions, and he quickly shifted from an almost smile to a sadness.

"Hisagi, I'm starting to worry _you_? Come on, _you're_ worrying _me_!" Hisagi dropped his gaze in what seemed to be a numbed sorrow. "Shūhei, I want some answers... I need them... I just pushed Hinamori away, and I need to know that it was right," _I could possibly have just messed up the relationship I've longed for since the Academy. Was it worth it?_

"Where do you want to start?"

"Breakfast. But first, I want to see your...uh, injuries," for lack of a better phrase, that's what Kira came up with. "I want to heal them as best I can."

"That wouldn't help anymore. They're all ready scabbed over, you'd have to rip the scabs off to heal with Kidō. If you want to, I guess you can," The dark haired shinigami stated without much attachment to his own body.

"If I can just assess them, then," _I hope they aren't as serious as they seemed last night..._

"I-" Hisagi started to protest, but stopped himself, "okay, whatever you want." It was relatively clear that he wanted to hide them, that he was ashamed of himself.

Kira finally moved, and approached Hisagi, whom sat up on Kira's futon and began removing the shirt Kira managed to find for him the night before. It was plain and grey, not stylish, but it was big enough to fit Hisagi compared to Kira's smaller frame and body mass. Even with the weight Hisagi lost, he still weighed substantially more than Kira.

Comparing Hisagi's chest to his back, his chest was nearly scratch-free. Sure, there were a few marks, but on his back there were a _lot_ of faint scars, rough skin that hadn't fully healed. They tended to be little, shallow, but everywhere. There must have been hundreds of them. They were all where Hisagi's Shihakusho would cover, nothing too visible along his neck or arms. What was on his neck, primarily strangulation shadows, were generally would have been covered by his choker. On his arms, either his Vice-Captain's badge would cover, or his armband. His ribs were bruised on both his back and chest, but most of them were faded to a disfigured greenish brown, with very few being dark purple. On his face, as Kira noticed before, the side of his right jaw line was bruised bad. Kira hadn't perceived the bruising up between Hisagi's left eye socket and temple, which had some scarring tissue hidden by his eyebrow.

"This is from Matsumoto, right?" Kira wanted to make sure he was creating the proper scene in his head.

"Yeah. Lately, one thing or another I did would cause her to lash out," Hisagi said casually, as if they were talking about what to have for dinner.

"Lately? What about earlier. Before it was about what you did?" Although it didn't make sense to Kira, he could relate because of what his former Tachou would do.

"Uh, well... before it was an _in the bedroom_ thing," Kira raised an eyebrow at the remark. "She had bleeding when we tried it traditionally because of her pregnancy, so we couldn't do it that way, but she still wanted to do things occasionally. So we did basically everything we could aside from conventional intercourse... she added choking, little slits, aggressive behavior like hair pulling or shoving – not to her, obviously! She tried to get me to be aggressive back... but I couldn't." Hisagi began to blush a little as he said, "I liked those additions. A lot... But later, closer to the birth we stopped, but then she..." Hisagi trailed off, seeming unable to form words to express what he was getting at. "I deserved it," his voice cracked slightly.

Kira raised his hand, cupping Hisagi's unbruised jaw. It was hot to the touch, past the point of a fever. Hisagi looked at Kira directly in the eyes, his own seeming dazed.

"You have a fever," Kira wanted to correct Hisagi's previous statement, but his attention was drawn away and alarmed. "You don't feel well, do you?!"

"Not so much. My throat is killing me, my body aches, and I'm really cold... Can I get a shirt back on?" Kira glanced down, seeing Hisagi's well-defined muscles, which were missing some of the healthy fat that was there last Kira saw Hisagi shirtless. Kira wanted to kiss him; wanted to do more than just kiss him. But he brushed those thoughts away.

"Sorry, I didn't realize; go ahead... Do you want a sweater or something?" Kira got up and went to check in his closet, looking for a warmer long sleeved shirt for Hisagi.

"I don't think you'd have any that would fit me, but sure," Kira could hear a little bit of warmth in Hisagi's voice. Hisagi got up, and began coming to stand next to Kira.

Kira heard the abnormality in the tattooed man's steps, and looked over just in time to see Hisagi crash to the floor

"Shūhei!" He sprinted over to him, landing in a kneeling position and shifting Hisagi into his arms. When he fell, he landed on his shoulder, then the left side of his head. Hard.

"Shūhei," Kira whispered, cradling his head and doing his best to examine his point of impact.

After a few moments, Hisagi came to again.

"Uhhhhhh..." Hisagi let out a light moan as he contorted his face and felt at his point of impact.

"Shū... are you all right? You sort of stood up and fell over..." Kira missed holding Hisagi, even if the situation wasn't good, per say.

"I got up and got really dizzy... passed out, I guess," his faced relaxed a little as Kira unconsciously stroked his dark hair.

"You must be hungry,"_...and ill._ "What do you want for breakfast? I don't have much, but I can go out and get something," a sort of worried expression flashed across Hisagi's face, before it was gone to a neutral facial expression.

"Whatever you have..." Hisagi remained focused on the head trauma.

"I'm asking what_ you_ want."

"I don't want to be alone," the man being held whispered. _Good; I don't want to leave you_.

"Well, I think I have some oatmeal... But the milk might be spoiled..."

"That's fine," Hisagi tensed his neck and back muscles, trying to get up. He couldn't.

"Here, let me," Kira put Hisagi's arm around his shoulders, Kira holding onto his opposite side. Hisagi winced, as Kira had a solid grip on a few of the taller man's bruises. Quickly, Kira helped the other man to his feet, releasing his grasp on the other man's side. "Sorry," apologizing.

"It's all right; thanks," Hisagi put his free hand to his head and began shifting his weight off Kira.

"Are you all right?" Kira was hesitant of Hisagi having too much weight at once, worried that Hisagi would push himself too fast and fall again. _At least I'm next to him this time._

"Yeah," he removed his arm from Kira, whom blushed slightly. Hisagi took a few steps, and Kira shadowed his pace before Hisagi wrapped his arm around Kira again, regaining his footing and giving the blond some of his weight, "okay, not really..." Hisagi's body was burning up, Kira feeling the heat as well.

Kira wanted to grab onto Hisagi's side, but if he did then he'd be holding onto a bruise, which he knew would put Hisagi in more pain. "You should be feeling better after you eat," _if you aren't throwing up._ He paused before asking, "do you want some ice for your head?" Kira was cautious, with slight apprehension that Hisagi's head may or may not be injured from the fall.

"Oh, yeah, that might be nice," Hisagi said warmly.

They came to the dining room with the open kitchen, the only separation between the two being a counter, and Kira took Hisagi over to a chair and sat him down.

"I'll start oatmeal with water…" Kira wandered into his kitchen and took out a saucepan, filled it with oatmeal and water, place it on his stove and started the fire. It would be a simple breakfast, but sometimes simplicity is just right. Suddenly, the pressure in Kira's bladder became almost unbearable. He had forgotten he needed to pee so bad. "OKAY I WILL BE RIGHT BACK!" Kira yelled and ran off to the bathroom. It was a quick trip, and when he returned he stirred the oatmeal. He generally stayed in the kitchen area, looking for things. Hisagi sat at the table, staring at his hands.

"We both got what we wanted," Hisagi stated flatly.

"What do you mean?" Kira looked over the counter towards Hisagi.

"You're with Hinamori. I'm with Rangiku… It's what we both have wanted for the longest time. Was she everything you wanted?"

_What?!_

"I… I don't know what you mean…"

"Kira, I know… that you always longed to be with her, even when we were… together,"

"She is…" Kira _really_ didn't want attention on him, nor his relationship with Momo.

"Why the hesitation?"

"I don't know anymore…" Kira turned his attention back to the oatmeal, wanting to cry… Hisagi was right. He had gotten exactly what he wanted, but was it what he needed?

Kira finished the oatmeal and found the milk wasn't spoiled, yet. He served breakfast and sat at the table with Hisagi. "Enjoy," _even though it isn't much._

ooo

¹ Originally, I planned for this to explain Kira comforting Hisagi... But the time line of this story didn't add up for that... So, I altered it a bit... But with pregnancy, it would be a bit different. Damn pregnancy.

And, hope you enjoyed! Leave some constructive criticism if you can, , or something you may want to see in this fic c:

A review would be greatly appreciated.

Also, I know that ending was bleh… I spent about two nights trying to figure something out and It just didn't work out :I so, here's what I go!

As always, Bleach belongs to Tite Kubo.

Unrelated. FALL OUT BOY IS SO GREAT. Reawakened my love for that band recently. SO GOOD.  
Oh, and I have a ShuuKira facebook page…but I don't update it, seeing as I'm the only one that likes it… if anyone wants to like it, I'd start posting stuff c:  
shuuhisaigizurukira


	3. Chapter 3

Okay. So. I've been dealing with some personal stuff lately, and I've been really busy... But I _needed_ to write, and few nights ago I ended up reading so many fanfics. OH THE FEELS ATTACKED ME GOOD. And made me remember I needed to write this again x3  
Along with my other two (or three? ._.) I started a while ago. I gotta get on it xD

Another Kira POV, except for flashbacks. Soon, Shū POV will come...

Anyways. Enjoy the chapter. Leave constructive criticism if ya want, and tell me what cha think!

-oh by the way, I was thinking I would pause this one and write a few of the other fics I've been meaning to write, one focusing on Kira's healing process and another focusing on Hisagi's. And…stuff. LOL. Some of that is hinted at in this since it was significant in my mind to this story, as all my main fics seem to be tied together. Anyways, who would be interested?-

Also. This is bothering me that I didn't clarify before; they're wearing clothes from the World of the Living. So t-shirts. Shorts. Maybe not Fundoshi…

ooo

Hisagi mostly just spooned his oatmeal, moving it around until it appeared to be somewhat eaten. Kira knew he shouldn't nag him about it. He knew if he did, Hisagi would say he wasn't hungry, which could eventually lead to Kira getting angry. Which Kira _really_ needed to just remain calm. Not only that, but Kira could see that Hisagi was still tired, dark shadows under his eyes almost matching his bruises.

The two sat there, each with their own bowl, relatively awkward and quiet. Kira stood up and took his dishes to the sink, and came back and asked if Hisagi was done. He got an eye-contactless nod in response. Hisagi _did_ eat some of the oatmeal, but not nearly as much as he should have. Kira washed the dishes, and put them away, then came back to Hisagi.

"It's time we talked," he said plainly.

Hisagi seemed to flinch at his words.

"Hisagi-san..." Shūhei looked up at Kira after hearing his name.

"Okay..." Hisagi tried to get up, but he wasn't able to get up on his own

Kira knew exactly what the dark haired man was thinking as he lowered his head, covering his eyes with his bangs, like Kira used to do all the time. _Before he helped me get out of that hole Gin threw me in…_

"Here," Kira offered his former friend his shoulder. Hisagi accepted, giving Kira more of his body weight than he did earlier. The weight was too much for Kira to balance himself and Hisagi, and he had to place an arm around Hisagi's rib cage. Hisagi let out a gasp of pain at the touch. Kira led them over to his sofa, setting Hisagi on it as gingerly as possible, except Shūhei's arm completely dropped off the blond, and he slammed down onto the couch harder than Kira had wanted. Kira sat next to him, with a space large enough for another person between them. Kira did this to protect himself. He didn't want to get too close to Shūhei. Not again. He knew if that gap was filled, he would try to physically comfort the other man, which could lead to giving him false hope for a restored friendship. Yet, at the same time, he wanted to be closer to Hisagi than he ever was before.

"So... Where do you want to start?" Kira cued Hisagi to start talking about _everything_.

"I-..." Hisagi sighed, as he rubbed his temple a little bit, avoiding the head trauma he had earlier in the morning. "Where _should_ I start?"

"With when you _cheated_ on me for the first time." Kira knew this came out a bit more bitter than he expected it would, but it was the truth.

"Okay... I guess it was about nine or ten months ago now... Rangiku came onto me..."  
…

"Hisagi-kun!" Rangiku appeared in the 9th division's office just as Hisagi was getting _really_ bored with his paper work and when _Tōsen-Taichou _was out.

"Matsumoto," Hisagi said, smiling warmly at the big-breasted women that just slammed open his door. She was overflowing with radiance. "What brings you in my office at this hour?"

"I am here to officially ask you on a _date_!" She knelt down, propping her head up on her elbow on the dark-haired man's desk, he breasts spilled onto his desk, displaying her marvelous cleavage for him to admire, which he was.

Shūhei could only stare at her in disbelief. And stare at her massive boobs on his desk, _they're begging to be felt up and..._ He cut himself off at that, not wanting to go on. Not now. This _had_ to have been one of her bad jokes.

"So, whatdoya say, Hisagi-kun~?" She stood up fully this time.

"What?" Hisagi was still dumbfounded by her proposal. It was so _random_ and yet so _irresistible_.  
Then she came over to where Hisagi sat and brought her face _very_ close to his, close enough that Hisagi could smell her sensational scent. And then, even more unexpectedly, she kissed him.

As her lips moved, half-massaging Shūhei's lips, parting them open, and with more shock, his eyes widened before accepting this scenario as reality. He moved his hands onto her hips; those hips had been an object of Hisagi's curiosity for the longest time. He had always wondered what they would feel like in this kind of situation.

And then, she straddled him, climbing onto him while he sat on his chair and she wrapped her legs around his waist, all while investigating his mouth with her tongue. He could feel her chest against his, and it felt so _good_. She placed one hand on his chest and tried to explore some of his skin underneath the Shihakusho, but Hisagi reflexively grabbed her wrist, not wanting her to feel his scars from _him_. Although Hisagi knew they would just feel like any other scar a shinigami would get through battle or training, they still weren't something he wanted her, or anyone, to see; he knew why they were there, and it pained him.

She parted their lips, both opening their eyes suddenly and widely. Hisagi quickly dropped her wrist, both knowing what the other was thinking, both wanting to forget the way Hisagi had just reacted. She finally asked him again, "so what'll it be, Hisagi-kun?"

"What time?" was all Hisagi could say. How could he say no? Since the day he first met her, he knew he wanted to at least _try_ being with her. And that day he got to try it out was _today_!  
"Whenever you want," she winked at him.

"Seven?" Hisagi said, reminding himself he _needed_ to finish his paperwork before.

"Sounds _fantastic_," she said in an erotic way, making Hisagi have shivers be sent all through his body.  
Much to his displeasure, the beautiful woman dismounted him,, and yet pleasure, she began to walk away like she owned the entire world. "I'll see you tonight, darling. Be prepared," she said, as she looked over her shoulder and winked once again.  
_Oh shit! What did _that_ mean?! Be prepared? For what? Does she mean have _condoms _ready?! She couldn't possibly... But..._ Hisagi shook his head and slapped himself a little, bringing himself back to reality. _Paperwork first, _he thought firmly.  
Kira came in for lunch, as he usually did now that they were together, allowing them to have privacy: keeping their relationship out-of-sight. It wasn't that they were afraid of what others thought, but it wasn't much of anyone else's business. No one knew. Well, except Ukitake-Taichou, whom Hisagi had consulted about the relationship he had wanted with the blond before actually going through with it. He knew Ukitake had a relationship with Squad Eight's Taichou, and has for a long time, even though it may have been hard.  
And the moment Kira walked through the door, he panicked. _Oh shit! I'm _with_ Kira! But... No one else knows that... No one else will need to know what Rangiku and I have, either... But _shit_! I cheated on Kira _already_… Just one date. That's all. And then I'll tell Kira about it…_  
Hisagi quickly regained composure, not letting Kira notice. He finished up the paperwork he was currently working on, finishing the page before he ate his lunch with Kira.  
While eating, the couple talked about work, mostly.

"I'm going to be working late tonight, I'm sort of behind on my paperwork today," Hisagi smiled sheepishly, yet not letting on that he was lying. He was a good liar. He always wished he wasn't a good liar, but he had learned how to hide his problems from others, especially his internal issues with Kazeshini.

"Oh, all right. How late?" Kira said between bites. Kira had really learned to relax since he got away from Ichimaru; once Hisagi finally realized what was wrong with Kira since he graduated from the Academy, he reminded Kira how to stand up for himself again. Reminded him how to protect himself. It took far too many years for Hisagi to stop lying to himself, though, and confront Kira.

"I'm not sure yet… It depends on if Taichou gives me anything more; he's been really busy with a lot lately, so I'm trying to pick up some of the slack… Well, whatever slack he _lets_ me," the two laughed together, both smiling. "Can we do something tomorrow?"  
"Of course," Kira smiled warmly. It was great seeing Kira genuinely smile and laugh again. He had forgotten what he was like, hardly getting to know him much in those days. Those were the days Renji used to talk about, comparing Kira to then a before. Kira was feeling a lot better now, though. And Shūhei was delighted he was.

Before Kira left, Hisagi kissed him and hugged him tightly, _I promise, Kira… I won't let this date tonight get out of hand…_ Even though he knew Kira couldn't hear his thoughts, and even if he could, he wouldn't have known what he was talking about.

Hisagi didn't have time to stop back at his home to prep for his date, so he just rinsed his face in a sink at the office before heading to the Tenth to meet Rangiku. _I need something for this, don't I! Like, flowers…_ Although he thought it was _lame_, he just picked a flower he passed while walking lacking the time to buy some actual flowers.. It was a pink flower, like her scarf, which faded to white on the tips of its pedals.  
He walked quickly, being extremely eager. Anyone would be to have a date with _her_.  
Arriving at the Tenth, Shūhei found Rangiku waiting just outside for him, and as she saw him, she ran up to him and hugged him hard. He offered her the flower he had picked for her, and she smiled and kissed his cheek, putting it in her hair.  
_She looks beautiful…_  
He held out his arm, and she latched on, the two walking just like a couple would… And guilt washed over him; he did his best to brush it off and enjoy the night.  
_I'm sorry, Kira…_ He thought, hearing Kazeshini laughing at him ever so slightly.

Most of the night was a blur after they had gotten to the restaurant they decided to go to. It was a nicer place than Shūhei usually went to when he went out drinking with friends; it was a _date_ after all. Although, as soon as they got there, Rangiku insisted in getting some sake, saying how both Fukutaichous needed to loosen up. Right after ordering, she went to the restroom, and as soon as she got back, the sake having all ready been served, she challenged him to a drinking contest; loser having to … what did they decided the loser would have to do? Hisagi couldn't remember.  
Hisagi woke up the next morning in shock, finding her in his futon, both himself _and_ Rangiku being mostly naked. He climbed out, trying not to wake her. He panicked, covering his gaping mouth, trying to prevent himself from swearing, yelling about how badly he screwed up. He noticed his hakama on the ground nearby, and slipped back into it without stirring Rangiku, not wanting to have the situation seem as bad as it had if she woken up right now.  
_Wait. Slow down, Shūhei, maybe we didn't do _anything._ Maybe we both just got naked and passed out! We did drink a _lot_ last night…_ Hisagi's head spun, trying to keep the ideas of how _wrong_ things could've gotten last night out of his head. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and he had to go to his bathroom, getting up gently so he didn't wake Rangiku. Immediately he threw up, just barely making it to the bathroom toilet. "Ughh..." He threw up again.

He clearly drank _way_ too much last night. _Some kind of first date that was… Getting drunk and spending the night here… So lame…_ He hoped Rangiku didn't drink too much...

That thought lead him to his under-the-sink stash of condoms he had. One box. _Un_opened. He was saving it for when Kira and himself became _active. _When both felt ready for it.

_Shit... if we did do anything...it was _un_protected_. Hisagi flinched, then noticed his reflection in the mirror. His scars from _him_ didn't look bad anymore. They almost blended with the others, although the burns stood out. Quickly he closed the cabinet, rinsed out his mouth, and washed the grime and oil off his face.  
"Oh, there you are," Matsumoto appeared in the doorway, smiling just as Shūhei dried his face. She had her Shihakusho back on, and she gracefully came into the bathroom with Hisagi.

_I don't want her seeing _these_..._ He thought about his scars again, and the shameful memories they brought on. He brushed them away, focusing on her and not his own bare chest.

She smelled like herself rather than sake, like he did. She came close to Hisagi and embraced him, "good morning, Shūhei," she said with a smile, followed by a tender kiss. Hisagi was dumbstruck once again. "You sleep well, dear?"

He didn't remember anything from last night, and Rangiku was... Well, she was being lovey dovey! _What the _hell_ happened last night! And since when does she call me _Shūhei_?!_  
"Yeah, I think so. And you?"

"It only would've been better if I had woken up next to you," she sounded slightly sad saying this. Like he was obligated to be there. It was _weird_ to say the least.

"Sorry, I, uh," he glanced at the toilet, which still had his vomit in it, and she giggled. "Yeah," he smiled meekly.

"Oh, Shūhei,"  
"What?" The way she said that made him wonder if he had made some type of move on her last night; something crazy, like he proposed to her.  
"Nothing," she smiled and kissed him again. The kiss felt like it lasted for hours. It was only a seconds though.

"Matsumoto, I'm sort of confused," he confessed, "what _exactly_ happened last night?"

"Oh? You don't remember?"

"Nothing..." He knew this wouldn't sound good. Not good at all.

"Well, we had a _date_," she batted her eyelashes at him.

"I remember _that_ much..." He was baffled. Nothing made sense.

"We really hit it off, and then we came here, and, well, I think you know what happened," she winked at him and smiled.

"Umm, that's also sort of what I'm wondering what _exactly_ happened..." Now he felt really humiliated. This was _Rangiku Matsumoto_ he was talking about. How could he forget if they did something!?

"You mean you _already _forgot this?" She said, grinding up against him, thrusting her pelvis against him. "Only, minus these clothes," she said, whispering against his neck, then kissing the skin exposed around his choker.

And _that_ was _exactly_ what he was afraid of, cursing himself as his body melted against this movement.  
_Stop! Shūhei, dammit! STOP!_  
"I-" Rangiku kissed him, cutting him off, and kept going, squeezing Hisagi's arms and drawing him into her more. A shudder went through his body, thinking Kira was in his home. He didn't know why he would have that thought, it was just a concern he had knowing Kira had a key to his place.

"Shūhei, what's wrong?" she had worried eyes.

He stepped back, separating himself from her, "I just remembered I have a meeting this morning!" he lied. "Shit! I have to get ready!"

"Oh, sorry," she backed out of his bathroom, and let him situate himself.  
_What the _fuck_ am I doing! I'm with _Kira_! Why the _hell_ did I accept going on a date with her!_

…  
"The rest of that day... I was terrified that you had found out... I honestly was going to tell you the first moment I saw you... But I was so scared you would... I don't know, hate me? Break up with me? You didn't come for your lunch break, which I was worried about, and I didn't allow myself a lunch break, since I didn't bring anything to eat... And the guilt ate away at me _all day_ to the point where I thought... I don't know what I thought." Hisagi sounded like he was going to cry. "I guess I got both in the end..." Hisagi refused to look at him, all throughout his story telling. Mostly had had his eyes on his hands, or anywhere that wasn't Kira.

"Hisagi, you _knew_ throughout everything how you shouldn't have cheated! _How could you!? Why weren't you strong enough to stop!?_" Kira exploded, Hisagi staring at him with wide eyes. Kira lowered his voice and regained composure, remembering this _wasn't_ about him. "Sorry... But, Hisagi... Do you think the way I found out was better?"

"No! _God, Kira,_ no..." Hisagi buried his face in his hands; his voice was so pain-filled it hurt Kira to hear it. "I... Ugh..."

"It's okay, Shū," Kira accidentally used his shortened name without thinking. Kira knew the scarred man found it very comforting and endearing… It wasn't his place to use.

"I never wanted you to find out because I couldn't bare to tell you myself... I had so much shame… I allowed myself to have sex with her just because...well... just because she wanted to, I guess. It was always on _her_ time..."  
"How many times did you two..." Kira paused, wanting to rephrase that, "how many times until I found out?"

"Five..." Hisagi knew exactly how many. He had put a lot of thought into it before.  
"Where?"

"Twice at my place, once at her office, and outside..."  
"That only accounts for four times... And I stumbled upon one of them..."

…

It was burned into Kira's memory. He couldn't forget it, no matter how hard he tried. He went to the Tenth Division to deliver some paperwork there, and Hitsugaya-Taichou had asked him to put away a broom someone had carelessly left off on his way out. Walking out of the Taichou's office, he came across the closet the broom belonged to, which he heard _noises_ in. Like someone being shoved against the wall. Kira was worried someone was getting hurt in there or something. He sprang the door open, light spilling inside the storage closet from the hallway. He was wrong about being shoved up against a wall. They were being shoved up against the _door_. The people inside, the one that was against the door sprang away from the door with a yelp, shocked from the sudden change. He saw Matsumoto's back, and she had someone she had shoved further into the closet with her, whom had fallen into the wall with a thud. He noticed her hakama _wasn't_ on, and he panicked.  
Then she turned around and hit him across his face, screaming, "_get out!_"  
Kira stumbled backwards, seeing whom it was she was with: Shūhei Hisagi. He, too, had his hakama off, and his eyes were wide, like Kira's, having strong eye contact with the blond.

Kira ran. He ran out of the Tenth Division, and kept running. He didn't run back to the Third, but rather to his parent's grave. He wasn't sure why, but he did. And he sat there, and cried. Maybe he did this because it was the only place a grown man could cry in public without being looked at funny. Maybe it was because he didn't know what else to do.  
He stayed there, curled up with his knees against his chest, hugging them. His face already was swelling where Matsumoto had hit him. He didn't understand. He and Shūhei had gotten through so many of their inner demons with one another. It just didn't make any sense. Was it because Kira hadn't been putting out? _But Shūhei_ _has his own sexual barriers because of _him_, also_. _How could he just _do_ that..._

"K-Kira?" Kira lifted up his head, facing Hinamori.  
"Oh, hi," he tried to fake a smile through his tears, but couldn't.

"What are you doing here?" She was surprised. Kira remembered that this was near where Hitsugaya-Taichou's grandmother was buried. It made sense that she was coming to visit her.  
"I... I just need my parents right now," he touched his mother's tombstone and more tears spilled out.

"Are you all right?" She sat down text to him, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"I will be..."  
"What happened to your face?" Hinamori noticed the place Matsumoto struck him on.

…

"Also once in a closet at the Academy..." Hisagi's voice was full of remorse.

"Wow. Have you no shame?" Kira was disgusted at the fact that Hisagi had defiled their school like that.

"I... She just showed up before one of my lessons later that first week, and asked if she could _talk_ to me... And she wrote a note my board telling the class I would be back five minutes after class started, and that they should review the previous material. I thought something was wrong..." Hisagi paused and Kira wondered if he should ask a question or something. "She... led me into a closet, and locked the door and stripped herself before I actually realized what was going on." Hisagi shook his head, showing his disgust at this.

"I see..."

"After you found out, I wanted to explain myself. I tried to... but you always brushed me off and wouldn't look at me. When we were with Renji, and Ikkaku, and Yumichika, you kept your distance and made sure we wouldn't ever be alone together..."

"Wouldn't you do the same?"  
"I would..." Hisagi tilted his head down and away from Kira.

_I'm giving you something close to a chance now..._

"I just... I hoped you would give me a chance I didn't deserve..."  
_You're right. You didn't deserve it. But... I didn't know everything...  
_"And then when she told me she was pregnant, I knew I couldn't leave her. You know, I _had_ to be a father." Kira thought about how Hisagi had his direct idea of right and wrong still, and he admired that., even if he _did _cheat. "And now... That... That" Hisagi was choking up

"Wait... It was less than seven months ago that I found out... Unless you were cheating on my for over two months..."

"I wasn't!" Hisagi looked over now, curiosity in his eyes, wondering what Kira was getting at.  
"What if that _really_ isn't your child? I mean, I don't see Matsumoto as the type to really sleep around a lot, but... I don't trust her... And you said it wasn't yours..."

"I-I know I was te-rrible and cheated on you in an e-extreme sense, but I swear." Hisagi was on the verge of tears, and he was shaking. "I don't think that's _my_ child! It doesn't look anything like me!" He managed to scream those words out I-it looks like-" Hisagi didn't finish his sentence because he broke out into violent sobs.

Kira watched him for a few seconds; he was amazed this was the Hisagi he used to know. And then he made a decision that could've been one of the worst he could make. He scooted closer to Hisagi, and hugged him. He felt a shudder go through Hisagi, probably being just as shocked as Kira was at his own actions, but then Hisagi relaxed and dove into the blond's shoulder.

They stayed like that a while, Kira stroking the damaged man's hair, trying to calm him down.

ooo

Do you think my characters are OOC at all? Just wondering...  
Hopefully you enjoyed. Or hated it. Whichever one comes better o.o  
Also, I don't own Bleach, or any of these characters.

Thanks to those who have read and reviewed so far, it means a lot!


	4. Chapter 4

AND finally this is out! Hopefully y'all like it. There shouldn't be too many grammar mistakes...

I wrote the beginning of this in my creative writing class during free write time (a few separate sessions), and it was interesting. The differences between the classes and the general tone was apparent in the hand-written version xD It may still be sort of choppy n OOC, but I think I blended it fairly well together through my editing/typing of it.  
Oh well, here it is. Hope you enjoy~

ooo

He felt better than he had since… Well, since he screwed things up. Now that he was sobbing in the blond's warming arms, he wanted nothing more than to apologize. Before, when Kira was sitting on the other side of the couch from him, he was afraid that if he broke down, Kira would have just watched him. Or worse. Walked away. But now Kira was holding him while stroking his dark hair.

"Shh… It's okay, Shū…" Kira whispered soothingly. It almost reminded him of when Rangiku would apologize. The thought made Shūhei cry even harder, gripping onto Kira's shirt.

Everything ached, and the oatmeal Kira prepared for him sat in his stomach, feeling like a heavy, foul pit.

_I haven't eaten in…_shit_… how long has it been? Yesterday morning? The previous day?_

His throat felt swollen and filled with flem and bile. He had chills everywhere, and yet he was boiling hot to the touch. Then his head…. that must've hurt the most. Even worse than his bruises and cuts. His head ached to begin with, but when he passed out, everything became worse. His head spun more and more about everything. Rangiku. The baby. His mistakes. Kira. Everything that might've settled got jumbled up worse than it was before

And Shūhei was tired. More tired than he was when his Taichou left.

_Taichou… What did I do?_ He needed someone he could rely on like that. A role model. A superior. He needed someone like that, but he would never admit that to anyone. He lost Ukitake when he lost Kira. Ukitake was so disappointed in him. _He_ was so disappointed in himself. And his actions that followed were even more disgraceful.

Suddenly he felt _that_ feeling run through his body and he knew it was coming. Kira had felt it too, and adjusted himself, trying to get a better look at Shūhei, whom had just put one hand on his stomach while the other covered his mouth.

_Keep it in. _He tried getting up to run to the bathroom, but his legs wouldn't even hold him enough to stand up.

"Shūhei?" Kira asked as if he already knew.  
"I-" he tried to ask for help, but immediately the pit forced its way out as he bent over, still sitting on Kira's couch while upchucking onto his floor. Kira had let go of him immediately, and had placed a hand onto the scarred man's back, rubbing gentle circles.

"It's okay, just let it all out," and as if on command, his body lurched again, his stomach trying to force everything out. The rest came out, but then his stomach tried to force more out. There wasn't anything left so now he was just dry heaving, and it felt terrible.

"I'm... sorry... Kira..." he muttered an apology between heaves.

"It's fine. Just let it all out," Kira said as he kept rubbing circles on the ill man's back. It made him feel really relaxed and Hisagi's stomach began to calm down, not longer retching, and Kira asked, "are you feeling better?"

"I think..." moving back from the bent over position, he unintentionally fell against Kira. He felt overheated and exhausted.

_Shit_...  
And unexpectedly, Kira wrapped his arms around him, comforting him once again.

_I expected Kira to yell at me... He isn't Rangiku, is he..._

"I'm going to need to clean that up sooner rather than later," Kira said with an unusually playful tone, and Hisagi chuckled.

"I'm such a mess," Hisagi said, laughing harder, and quickly after, Kira was laughing just as hard. As their laughter intensified, both moved further away from the other, shaking the sofa. And then they were both laughing so hard they were both crying.

_Kira is so amazing... He glows... He's... _wow_..._ Hisagi cut his laughter and bit his lip.

"Oh, damn, that was funnier than it should've been," Kira said, still smiling while wiping his tears away, and Hisagi smiled at him, feeling a bit cooled-down yet warmed-up. In the good way. He still loved Kira, but that might not be such a good thing.

"Got any mouthwash?" Hisagi asked with good-humored still ringing in his voice, and Kira looked at him like he didn't understand. Worry automatically washed over Hisagi. And then Kira burst out laughing again, trying to regain his composure. The blond couldn't and started beating the couch while half-covering his mouth.

"I'm sorry!" Kira yowled, laughter showing no sign of subsiding. "Yes!" He belted out.

Shūhei didn't understand why Kira was laughing so hard, but he was. And he couldn't help himself but to join in. For whatever reason, their laughter escalated to be more intense than it was before.

Finally the two calmed down. Again. Kira stood up, ready to actually assist Hisagi and his vomit.

"Sorry, Hisagi-san."

To Hisagi, it sounded so _normal_. Like nothing was ever wrong between the two.

Kira stood up, and straightened himself out."I don't know what came over me," he said, extending a hand to Hisagi, offering to help him up. Of course, Hisagi accepted the gesture, but his body wouldn't hold him up, even, and he fell into Kira's chest, and he tried to get out of the blond's space, but couldn't. It almost hurt being this close to his friend. Or former friend. He wanted to feel like things used to be. From the outside, it may have looked like everything was fine, and it almost felt that way, too. But Hisagi knew better. He knew that nothing would be the same ever again.

"Sorry..." Hisagi said, muffled by Kira's chest. He placed a hand on it, trying to get a reasonable distance away, but he couldn't and he felt himself tipping backwards; evidently, Kira felt it too, and he wrapped his arms around the dark-haired man's unusually sick body.

"Shūhei... What-" Suddenly Kira became aware of the situation and he jumped a little. "Guh! This is so gross!" the blond laughed as he realized how close the two were to Hisagi's vomit.

Hisagi felt good since he was able to feel Kira's body shake with laughter in this close range again. It was weird; Hisagi had never expected to feel it again. And yet, he never wanted to let it go.

"Okay! Let's take you to the bathroom? And I'll clean this up?" Kira said even warmer than his body. Hisagi felt the room spinning, his eyes involuntary fluttering backwards. And he passed out. Again.

...

When he woke up, he had a cool, moist towel on his forehead, and he was laying on the sofa. And Kira was next to him, kneeling while stroking his hair.

"Oh, good; guess we had too much fun earlier, huh?" Kira smiled and let out a light-hearted sigh.

And Shūhei could help but to smile back. _Kira is...wonderful.._ Then guilt and pain came flooding back, and he hurt again. _This is pathetic... _I'm_ pathetic..._

Kira had obviously noticed the emotional change and called out to him,"Shūhei?" while lightly running finger down his scars, and then over the bruise on his jaw. Hisagi flinched at this, of course. "Shū?" Kira asked again, and Shūhei saw the concern in his eyes, and all over his face.

"I'm sorry," he flinched away again at the blond's touch.

"Shūhei..." the blond whispered, drawing his hand away completely. Shūhei began to cry, trying to hide from Kira with his arm covering his face. He knew it wouldn't work for long, but it bought him some time.

_Kira, I'm so sorry. You're still so kind to me... How? We were able to laugh like _nothing _happened. And... Shit._

"I brought you some mouth wash... but you should sit up if you're going to use it." Hisagi could hear the hurt in Kira's voice. It was just another reminder that everything _wasn't_ okay.

"T-Thank you," Hisagi managed to get out. He was trying to hide his tears, but of course Kira knew better.

"I-. Shūhei, it's okay..." Hisagi didn't move. "Please... Look at me..." Hisagi could hear the pain in the leaner man's voice and it made him feel worse about himself; he couldn't deny the blond this, so he looked at him.

He saw Kira, tears rolling down his cheeks and a clear cup with blueish green liquid in it. And he noticed the absence of vomit.

"K-Kira? What's w-wrong?"

"I don't know what to do!" he yelled. "I've missed you _so_ much, and yet being near you scares me!"

_Being near me _scares_ him?!_ It shocked Hisagi, to say the least. And the blond's outburst seemed to shock himself, too.

"I-I'm sorry," Hisagi sat up, the towel that was on his forehead falling into his lap, "I-"

"Here," Kira extended the cup, looking down. It hurt. But he deserved it, or so he thought.

"Thanks," Hisagi said and took it, swishing it around in his mouth. It was crisp and minty, and it eliminated the utterly disgusting taste of vomit that had settled in. There wasn't and chunks in his mouth at this point, so it was just what he needed. He had forgotten how bad his mouth tasted, and the wash was refreshing.

Kira hadn't moved, aside from lowering his formerly extended arm that had held the wash. But he sat there, silently crying.

_Kira... I... What do I say to him?_ Hisagi knew he needed to say something to blond, but he couldn't figure out the words. He used the time swishing the liquid in his mouth as time to think. And as time to calm down. Being mostly immobile _really_ didn't help Hisagi in this situation. He wanted to sit down next to Kira and hold him, but he didn't want to flop down and knock Kira over in the process.

Hisagi spat back into the clear cup, Kira looking back up at him, making eye contact.

"Kira, I-"  
"Don't." Kira cut him off firmly. "I'm going to get some – uh – water. Just lay down and I'll be back."

"Okay..." and Kira went to the other room, leaving Hisagi to himself, and fear crept through him.

_Kira is _really_ mad at me... I doubt anything I can say can fix this... Shit..._ _I can tell him about _that_ but I'm pretty sure that'd do the opposite of helping..._  
Kira was back with like he said he would be, with water, and he sat down next to Hisagi, and handed it to him.

Hisagi shot him a quizzical look.

"You need to hydrate," Kira said plainly. "And rest."

"Thank you..." Kira still had tears on his cheeks and reddened eyes, but he wasn't crying anymore. "Kira..."

"What?" Kira was agitated at him.

"I just... I know this isn't going to help at all... But I didn't just cheat on you... After we broke up, I did a _lot_ of sleeping around." Hisagi sighed, amazed he was actually telling Kira this. "It took a few weeks of being in a relationship for Rangiku to tell me that she was pregnant, and I had sex with five, or six other people while I was officially with her."

"Who?" Kira was looking over at him, with a look of concern.

"I shouldn't say..." Hisagi felt his face heating up thinking about it. He took a sip of the water Kira had brought him, and it cooled his throat.

"Say it!" Kira said excitedly.

"If this sort of thing gets around it could be bad for a lot of people..."

"I promise I won't tell anyone." Kira had really wanted to know. I went beyond wanting to trivially gossip; he genuinely wanted to know.

"Okay," Hisagi couldn't believe he was actually telling Kira this. "Renji. And Akon. And Ikkaku and Yumichika."

Kira seemed shocked, "did you _three-way_ with Yumi and Ikkaku...?"

"Yes..."

"I... How was it?"

"Fun," Hisagi said, scoffing, causing Kira to laugh at him, wiping away some of the tears from earlier.

"And _Akon_? That creepy guy with horns from the twelfth? How did _that_ happen?"

"I'm not sure, really... It just kind of _did_. It was more of an _experiment_ to him, though." Hisagi smiled, remembering how that man had handled him unlike anyone else ever had. "He liked seeing how different things affected me..." Kira got a sort of disgusted look on his face, and Hisagi decided it would be better to shut up and he took another sip of his water. He had considered mentioning the past he shared with Akon, but decided against it.

Kira had obviously noticed the abrupt ending and picked up to avoid extra awkwardness."And _Renji_? Isn't he with Kuchiki _Rukia_?"

"That's sort of the big deal with him... We were a little tipsy. He wanted to be with a man again. And I was around," his voice got grim as he said this; he was ashamed of being such an easy lay.

"So who else...? There were one or two more people..."

"Shit, I was hoping you wouldn't pick up on that..."

"_Well_?"

"I don't know who the other two were... Two women I picked up at a bar... separate occasions, though. Oh... And my Taichou and I did a little... We did _not_ have sex, though."

"Wow..."

"It was just a some-what drunk make-out session..." Hisagi took another drink of water, and this time set the glass down on the table next to him. "I- I think I was trying to make up for screwing it up with you..." Kira's eyes went low, feeling the tone shift into the renewed serious one. "After she told me about the baby... I knew I had to stop because it wasn't about me anymore. But things didn't work... At all..."

"So I've seen... How did," Kira touched Hisagi's jaw, "this happen?"

"Are you sure you want to know?" Hisagi didn't exactly want to talk about it, but he also didn't exactly mind talking about. He just wasn't sure if Kira actually wanted to hear about it.

"Yes," Kira said with a genuine seriousness to his voice and position

"She wanted to keep banging like we did before... But without vaginal sex, and she wasn't able to settle with alternate ways... And then she introduced physical abuse."

_..._

"Shū, just trust me~!" She smiled and began undoing his himo¹, her _Zanpakutō_ in her free hand.  
Hisagi couldn't shake the sense of fear he held onto, memories from _him_ still were lingering, but that wasn't the worst part. Quickly his chest was bare, and she began kissing his neck, moans escaped his mouth, signaling her to keep going.

"Rangiku, I – _ah _–," she slit the opposite side of his neck, and then shifted to kissing where she had just cut, his blood seeping onto her mouth. She slit more on his chest and back, alternating each time, becoming more aggressive each time. The pain increased, and the pleasure he was getting became more and more heightened. And then she dropped her sword and moved behind him. And while kissing his back, she slid an arm around his neck, applying pressure. His alarms went off, screaming at him to get her away. But he didn't listen. He let her keep going. And it all blurred, and Hisagi couldn't remember what happened from there.

The next thing he did remember was while she slept peacefully beside him, he wiped blood off his body, cleaning the cuts to the best of his ability. He wasn't the best medic, and he kept cracking the little slits back open, letting more crimson cells ooze out. With every motion, the cuts stung and burned. His throat was still feeling constricted, and he felt tears forming in his eyes. _No! I'm not going to cry over something like this! It's so insignificant! Stop, Shūhei!_ But it didn't matter. He went to sleep crying.

It went like that for a months, until all the pleasure was removed from it.

"Shūhei, what are you _doing_!?" Rangiku yelled. He had fallen asleep sitting on the couch, and she was trying to get him to go with her to an appointment with Unohana. It was one of the last ones before the baby was going be brought into this world. Hisagi hadn't been sleeping much since before everything went to hell; since before his Taichou left. And she expected him to be fine and that he would be there to help her always. Between helping her, editing the _Bulletin_, and running his squad, he hardly had time to sleep.

"We need to go! _Now_!"

"Okay, let's go!" Hisagi bolted up, going to her side.

"Get your shit together." Rangiku stuck him right between his jaw joint and the opening of his mouth. "You _need_ to be a responsible father."

"I'm sorry; I will be," Hisagi gingerly touched it coming away with blood on his hand. He looked shocked. Inside his mouth, his cheek was also bleeding from the flesh colliding with his teeth.

"I'm sorry, Shūhei... I just..." she began to sob.

"It's okay, honey..." Shūhei cupped her cheek with his unbloodied hand and hugged her gently, allowing the baby space. "You're right. I need to be a responsible father."

...

"I mean, I deserved it..." he said grimly.

"Shūhei, _no one_ deserves that!" Kira moved very close to him, the blond's body heat radiating off him. "You're an amazing man. And, I know you've gone through hell these past few months; we all have..." Kira got quiet, making Shūhei have to try to hear what he was saying, "but by no means did you deserve this..." Kira closed the gap between them, and their lips met.

Hisagi's hand came to Kira's chin, holding it delicately, and Kira wrapped an arm around Hisagi's body, pulling him close. He accidentally put pressure on a bruise, and Hisagi flinched away; Kira re-adjusted his arm position and pulled Hisagi back, kissing him again.

They rested their foreheads together, closing their eyes, "I missed you so much." Hisagi said, halfway out of breath.

"I missed you too, Shūhei," Kira said, wrapping his arms around the brunette tightly.

"I'm so sorry for what I did; if you're still mad, I understand..."

"Jerk; I wasn't mad at you today." Kira wasn't meeting the other's steely-colored eyes, but he moved one of his hands to stroke the other man's dark hair. Shūhei partly closed his eyes, relaxing at the blond's touch. "I shouldn't have left you back then. I should've given you a chance to explain. I've gone through abuse like what you did with _him_. I know it's hard to get over, and that you make bad decisions because you're afraid." Kira stifled a little laugh, "but you know that... The point is, I shouldn't have acted so irrationally toward you when I found out." Kira separated their foreheads met Hisagi's eyes, "I'm sorry. Abandoning you was the worst thing I could've done."

"It wasn't your fault I messed up. And it wasn't _his_, either. I just... I let myself be taken advantage of. It was easier that way, or that's what I thought. I am so _stupid_."

Kira stroked his cheek, "no, Shū. You aren't. You're-"

A loud knock cut Kira off, and both men were startled.

And then Kira must've realized what just happened because he suddenly released Hisagi and covered his mouth, eyes wide. "I'm sorry! That _shouldn't_ have happened! I- I should get that." Kira got up and hurried to the front door, in the other room, his complexion quickly turning beat-red.

_It must've been natural for him too... The way he was shocked at his actions... Wow. _Our_ actions._

His lips were still tingling and burning from kissing the blond for the first time in months. It felt _great_.

He figured he should take Kira's advice from earlier and he laid down.

ooo

¹ himo = short for hakama-himo. It isn't called an obi you have no idea how much that aggravates me that I was misinformed on that for the longest time. But now I got the proper term for it c:

Hope you enjoyed. I most likely won't have another chapter of anything out until post-ACen due to AP exams and hockey practices/tournament coming up. But after that I'll literally have three classes to study for for finals c: cannot wait to get outta school. For my creative writing class I'm working on an original piece about a guy in a post-WWIV time. I'm really digging my character concept in it and story design.  
EEEECKK my birthday is in less than a week! The 7th :3

As always, I don't anything. Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo and not me! If it did, these guys would be incorporated in the main cast c: (oh boy, would _that_ be a good manga/anime.)

Thanks for reading! Reviews welcome!


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